I have been very depressed the last few weeks, thought that is no reason to neglect this blog like I have done so. I also have fell very short of my weight goals for this month and have indeed stepped my shit up these past few days. I am minus 2 lbs, so 168lbs. Which is fine, but I really need to work out. I am also worried about my health, I want to be healthy more than anything. I want a strong heart, I want strong lungs. My mother is very much overweight and this causing me great anxiety, I have awful anxiety as is, but the fact that she is over 100lbs overweight frightens me constantly. I want her to be around when I am getting married, and maybe even have kids, I want her to be around for everything god willing.
Anyway, I promise more updates, at least 2 a week, and I promise (myself) I am stepping up now, whether or not I am feeling blue. I smoked some cigarettes the other day, four, and it made me feel better, but I know I can't start giving into that again.
Also, thank you for the comment on my last post it was very sweet and I just saw it. It made me feel a lot better :)
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